one-million and one

I have 1,000,001 things going through my head.
Do I stay in bed and watch 90210 & one tree hill all day, or should I get up and do something productive?
Should I keep living life like I have been for the past 18 years or should I switch things up a little?
Do I say screw it and actually go out with a guy or stay single?
Am I single cause it’s “safe” or cause it’s still what God wants?
Should I work in retail, fast food or as a receptionist?
Do I join the hippie movement and travel the world with a camara in hand taking pictures of “the needy” and no shoes on my feet with a “peace” scarf around my neck or continue looking for a real job that actually pays and live with my parents till I find a good man that’s marriage worthy?
Have you ever wondered where those that are in the Hippie Movement get money for all that they do? Cause they don’t really  have paying jobs…and i know if it were me, my parents wouldn’t pay my way for everything. My parents would be like “you want to do it, then get a real job so you can pay your own way…we’ll help ya out if you’re a few bucks short.”

Are you Pro-life? I am. I heard a story this past week. My friend found out their sister was pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. My friend is pro-life and was planning on taking part in the “Pro-life day of Silent Solidarity.” I asked my friend the other day how the silence day went, they said that they didn’t really do it cause their sister had the abortion the day before and “it kinda defeated the purpose.” That’s sad.

There are too many questions about life.

“There will always be unanswered questions, but maybe, sometimes, it’s best for questions to go unanswered.” – Samie

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Dear Midnight, why must you bring many thoughts to my mind?

so once again I’m just gonna type and whatever comes to mind will be published on this here blog.
hold on just a sec before we get started though…I just found a blonde hair in my bed from my best friends Halloween wig. haha

ok, now that that’s cleaned up.
I’m working on forgiveness. It’s a hard thing to do.
The other morning I woke up and had a certain person on my mind, God told me to pray for them. This person had hurt me so it was kinda hard to pray for ’em, so I kept it short and simple; “God, I don’t know what’s goin on but help them through whatever it may be. Keep ’em safe. Amen.” I rolled over and went back to sleep. two hours later I wake up again, this person is still on my mind. by this time im thinkin “pshh, ok God, you know they are the last person I want to think about, so why the heck are they on my mind!?” He said, “you’re over it” and I was like “umm, I’m what?” He said, “you were angry and you got over that, you were upset and you got over that. you were hurt and now you’ve forgiven them for that” I said, “I thought I did” he reminded me that you can’t truely forgive someone with hurt in your heart. He said “Cassie, think about this person…do you still feel hurt?” I took a little bit and thought about it and I didn’t. I was over it. I had forgiven them before in my head, but this time I had truely forgiven them in my heart. It was a weird feeling, but a good feeling. Later that day I got on this persons facebook…before i couldn’t stand to read the things on their wall, made me want to puke…I knew that i had forgave them. I was not going to be nauseated this time. Anyways, I’m reading their wall and saw that something had happened either that day [or the day before] and I was like “whoa, God you’re funny, having me forgive them on the day that this happened, much less waking me up to pray for them when it was happening…really God, quite humorous” A little later something came up that made me think about this person, something that would make me upset…and oh did I feel it coming on. Hello water works! then I stopped and remembered that God had healed my hurt from them and I forgave ’em. And BAM! I was over it like it was no biggie! whoa! I mean that’s weird! but completely awesome cause it was a work from God.  

Oh speaking of facebook…remember this whole blog is about stuff I won’t post on FB…I was on this one chicks wall earlier and I saw a few post like “no one cares” and “seasons are changing” and “times are rough” and some boy drama, then I saw it “sen11or”…oh! that explains it! welcome to senior year baby! growing up it tough. now when you date a guy, there’s a chance of…oh man, oh man, here it comes…marrying them! confused on how you should act because you are still a teenager, but embarking on adulthood. and you have to start working on a career, not just a part-time student job, no, now you’re an adult. don’t forget about college sweet heart, or maybe you’ll choose the path I did and not go…it is less stressfullll [I guess, kinda]. Dear Class of 2011, welcome to the rest of your life!

I have a few other topics I’d like to write about that are scattering through my head, but it’s now 1am and I have RAIN tomorrow and a long-awaited hang out time tomorrow night. I need rest.

btw, even though I don’t mention names in any of my blogs, have any of you put names and faces with people I speak of? just wondering. haha.
goodnight/morning all (♥)

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